The Cynic's Guide to Life

~ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

~ I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks, and a ball game gets rained out, and a car rusts and ...

~ Follow your dream! .... Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

~ When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

~ It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

~ Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.

~ This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting relatives stay over.

~ This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.

~ Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't ... you can't wait to throw up.

~Anna Kathryn