Some Friday Funnies

In addition to receiving "On This Day" http://www.reference.com/thisday/ to my mailbox each day, I also get "A Joke A Day" JokeFiles3-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Sometimes, I'm too busy to even read the jokes, but this came through to me on Wednesday and I had a chance to read it. I thought you'd enjoy it as well:

HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES

-- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

-- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

-- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

-- To write with a broken pencil is pointless!

-- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

-- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

-- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

-- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

-- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

-- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

-- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

-- A will is a dead giveaway.

-- A backward poet writes inverse.

-- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

-- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

-- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in linoleum blownapart.

-- A calendar's days are numbered.

-- A boiled egg is hard to beat.

-- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

-- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

-- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis