An Interview With Goldie from Gnome On The Range

Thank you for having me as a guest on your blog today. I have written an interview with one of my characters from my book Gnome On The Range. Goldie is the wonderful, interfering, meddling mother-in-law who runs the town's only adult store. Enjoy!

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Interview with Goldie, owner of Goldilocks Adult Store- Bozeman, MT

When did you open your store and why an adult store?

I opened the store back in the mid-seventies. I'm what you would have called a daring woman. People probably call me a lot of other things today, but that hasn't stopped me yet! Back then, no one talked about sex let alone shopped in a store to buy something to help improve it. Winter in Montana makes for many a cozy night. What better way to spend it than in front of the fire with the one you love?

Speaking of love, do you consider yourself a matchmaker?

If the shoe fits! I wouldn't exactly call myself a nosy sort, but I don't like to see young people all alone. If two people can find love between the sheets, I'm all for helping out.

In what ways do you help, specifically?

I've been known to give someone a little nudge. Others, I provide a little box from Goldilocks to help them get things moving along.

So you think having sex is a way to fall in love? What about dinner and a movie?

Hell. Dinner and a movie are just fine. It's what comes after where I come in. Sex is good anytime. Morning, bedtime, whatever. As long as there are two, or more (!), consenting adults who are staying out of trouble and away from too much TV, so much the better.

Too much TV?

Rots the brain.

Okay. Describe your latest success story on the relationship/marriage front.

All right. I'll replace the names to protect the innocent, but if you're reading this and from Bozeman, it might not be too hard to figure it out. Jessica hadn't been in a relationship in a loooonnng time. She'd found someone who'd relit her pilot light, if you know what I mean. But she was too chicken to make a move. So I sent a little care package to the man, Thomas.

Your care package made them fall in love?

Hell no! It made her so angry with me she took things into her own hands. She wasn't overly quick about it so I threatened another care package. Two days later, bam. The deed was done.

So you really are a matchmaker. In a weird sort of way. Who's your next love victim? Do you have someone in mind?

I sure do! For those of you who are familiar with Jane and Ty's love story, you might remember Veronica who also works with me here at Goldilocks. It might be dead winter and freezing cold outside, but a man just came to town that will keep Veronica warm at night! Ha!

And what are you going to do?

Help them fall in love. By the way, are you in a relationship?

Oh, um. No.

I knew it. Make sure you give me your address and I'll send you a little package from Goldilocks. I'm guessing you're into [author of story removed this section of the interview for personal reasons]. Don't worry, we have that kind of thing in the store.

And that's all for today. Thanks to Goldie of Goldilocks for today's enlightening blog experience.

If you enjoyed this little impromptu interview with Goldie, please read Gnome On The Range to learn how she meddles in the love life of Jane West (aka Jessica in the interview above). Here is the book blurb:

Once you get the zing you can’t go back.

Jane West has everything a woman could want. A job in a small Montana town’s only adult store, two busy young boys and one dead husband. Everything except a little excitement--a little zing. But that changes one summer morning at a garage sale when her kids buy some garden gnomes.

Now someone wants those gnomes and will let nothing get in their way. Including Jane. This new excitement for Jane spells trouble for a relationship with new neighbor--and hot fireman--Ty Strickland. Can Jane and Ty handle a relationship meddling mother-in-law, crazy kids, and stay alive while trying to solve the mystery of the garden gnomes?

Gnome On The Range is for sale on Amazon.

Coming soon! The sequel - Gnomeless