~ "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
~ "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
~ "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
~ "Have a cup of coffee, it's already been 'saucerered and blowed.'"
~ "She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm."
~ "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
~ "My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull."
~ "Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining."
~ "He's as country as a cornflake."
~ "This is gooder'n grits."
~ "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
Anna Kathryn Lanier